Through the Eyes of One
by CharmedCSI
Summary: Hmmm, now why would I do that? Just read it........Please!


Through the Eyes of One.  
  
By: CharmedCSI  
  
Summery...not on this train, sister!  
  
Disclaimer - not mine, never will be, just borrowing.  
  
Side Notes: Hmm, Looking at the other characters through Sara's eyes.   
  
G/S mentioned when I get to Grissom, maybe some here and there before, just not sure. Need feedback,   
  
so I will know if I should attempt to see the next character through Sara's eyes.  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Thoughts about everyone without actually naming them.  
  
Sometimes I can't fantom people. In other words I can't understand what makes people do the things they do.   
  
Although I try, it seems as if its a lost cause, because in reality your not suppose to understand other people, only yourself,   
  
but sometimes thats even impossible. There are times I don't understand why I do the things I do. Like for instance   
  
the time I decided to date someone I really didn't like, well, actually I liked him but only as a friend but I was tring to make   
  
someone else notice me for more than I was. Wrong, I know, but I figured maybe he would take notice if I wasn't around all the time.   
  
Did he? No, at least I didn't think so. Although there was that time when he said something that threw me completely off guard,   
  
but that time, I just shugged it off. Figuring he didn't mean it the way he said it. But now that I think of it he did mean it.   
  
Somehow he is the one person I try so hard to understand, sometimes I do understand him, other times, I'm completely clueless.   
  
Why do I try so hard? I think its something in my genetic code, actually to be completely honst its in everyone's genetic code.   
  
Perfection. Everyone wants to be perfect in everything he or she does. But the truth is we not. We can't be.   
  
Perfection is something we all strive for but never achive. For some people, its an obsession to be perfect for others its something   
  
we are always reaching for but never getting. Like its there but its not an obsession, its not something we get mad about when   
  
we're not perfect, but instead we just try to do better in our never ending quest to be perfect. Why do we want to be perfect?   
  
I mean if your perfect in everything you did, you would be a boring person, you would know everything there is to know and   
  
never make a mistake. So, maybe being perfect isn't something a human should want. But there are some people who want to   
  
be perfect or think they are. I suppose those people believe they are in sole possision of the universe, that everything revolves   
  
around them. And everyone around them should stop and take notice. I never cared for that type of person. I don't think   
  
anyone in their right mind would like a person who thought their problems or situations in life should take a front seat over   
  
everything else. Or that your personnel life should be mentioned everyday in your professional life. Say it once and then   
  
don't mention it again, is my theory on mixing your personal problems inside your professional life. But then again that is my theory,   
  
not based upon anything in practular. But maybe based upon someone I know, who tends to tell everyone they meet in their   
  
professional life about thier personal problems and past. I've gotten used to it but it tends to annoy me at times......such is life I guess.   
  
You know when you think about it, its just the way this person is.   
  
Everyone wants recongition for something or another in their life. I guess you shouldn't hold that against them, right? I mean   
  
everyone has a good and a bad side, everyone tries to achive something. I don't know. Do we really consider both the good   
  
and the bad sides of people that we meet. Or do we only focus on the bad side? Or does the bad side tend to be in the forefront   
  
of someones image of another? These are questions that I have pondered many times in my profession. When I first came to Vegas,   
  
\my case had me looking at the bad side of someone, that I forgot this person actually had a good side. Well, I didn't really forget,   
  
I overlooked it. Easy to do, when you don't know the person but by what someone has told you. Since then I've learned to get as   
  
much information as possible about someone and try to see the person from both sides. I guess you could say I've learned alot of   
  
lessons about judging people over the past 4 years.   
  
Learning, you know this is something you never stop doing. I know I haven't. You can't wait to get out of school as a kid,   
  
so you can stop learning and have fun. But in reality you never stop, and learning is fun. Its a give or take situation everyday of   
  
your life. Your either giving your knowlege about something to someone or your taking knowlege from someone about something   
  
you don't know about. In essance your sharing information about something, learning from both angles. I've actually seen this   
  
through someone. Since meeting this person 4 years ago, I've seen a change for the better, a growth that could only come to   
  
someone who is willing to learn and share their own knowlege about things in their own lives. And now I find myself competing   
  
against this person when it comes to getting higher in my professional life. We both want the same thing, a higher princepal to live by.   
  
But now I'm also faced with a question...am I conforming to other peoples prospective of me? Or am I going my own way,   
  
conforming to my own prospective?  
  
I think the challenge of any human being is being their own person without recourse from others. Going your own way,   
  
developing your own personal style. I believe that is why most people mirror the image of others. But is it really right to mirror   
  
yourself after another? Is this why most girls think they should be a size 3, like some woman they saw on TV? Or most guys think   
  
they should look like Tom Cruise in order to get the girl of their dreams? Why I wonder, do people think this way? Why can we just   
  
look at ourself and like what we see? Why do some want to look like someone their not? I guess, these are the age old questions   
  
that most people deal with on a day to day basis. The answer to these questions lie within the person who tries to conform to   
  
another person's image. To have a style all your own, makes a person an invidual, who is not willing to conform to another's image.   
  
But instead walk their own path. I do know a person like this. Not a copy cat, sorta say, but someone who is their being and is not   
  
afarid to show it. Sometimes I wonder about this person's sence of style but then I just shake my head and go on. Because this is   
  
how this person is and they wouldn't be who they where if they didn't act and dress they way they did.  
  
I guess this whole thing is bad when tring to describe someone. Its funny when I think about it. I mean I'm looking at these people   
  
I work with as a whole and not invidually. Isn't that what most of this is about, looking at people as indviduals? Seeing both sides,   
  
trying to understand them, for who they are and not how they conform to others? Learining about them from all aspects? I tend to   
  
speak without thinking, most of us are guilty of that from time to time in our lives, right? I've learned to try to think before I speak,   
  
and recognize when I don't. In other words I admit to my mistakes and take responsiblity for my mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes,   
  
thats what makes us human, although sometimes our mistakes get highlighted more than others. I wish I could take back past mistakes   
  
but I can't, no one can. Some people believe that they can make their mistakes work for them. Like they have all the hard luck, in   
  
other words they try to squeeze every ounce of sympathy from people for their past mistakes.....which leads me to my first person   
  
I'm going to look at as an invidual.....Catherine Willows.  
  
TBC 


End file.
